Al-Mujaadilah (aka Khuwaylah bint Tha’labah)

So, my usra and I are memorizing Suraht al-Mujaadilah and the story of Khuwaylah bint Tha’labah raises many interesting points. Khuwaylah (ra) was married to a very old man, and during this time, it was common within Arab culture to curse one’s wife by saying, “You are to me as the back of my mother,” which is known in the Qur’an as dhihaar. When a husband would say this to a wife, this meant that he would be depriving her of intimate relations and it was akin to a divorce, but a) the husband can say this an unlimited amount of times and b) when he feels like making amends, he just returns to his wife. This essentially would leave the wife powerless. As one can gather, this is what happened to Khuwaylah, as I’m sure it was happening to other women in the Peninsula. The only difference, however, is that Khuwaylah demanded justice. She would keep going to the Prophet Muhammad (sas) waiting for revelation from Allah to grant her her rights. Initially, (pre-revelation from Allah) Sayidna Muhammad (sas) said, “Oh Khuwaylah, your husband is an old man, be conscious of Allah in him.” Khuwaylah, however, had a deep faith that Allah would reveal to Sayidna Muhammad (sas) and the rest of the humanity that she was being unfairly treated and the idea of dhihaar was not aligned with the teachings of Islam. She persisted, staying with Saydina Muhammad (sas) until Allah sent down the beginning of Suraht al-Mujadilah, and with it, came a very difficult punishment for those that abuse their wives through dhihaar.

First, Allah reminds those who do curse their wives in such a fashion that clearly, your wives are not your mothers, your mothers gave birth to you. SubhanAllah, sometimes we really need a wake-up call by stating the obvious. Also, we can just adopt sayings that really are not their literal meanings and be so unaware of the obvious. For example, the idea of saying “That’s so ill” (meaning it’s cool). Or, the story of the two fish and a turtle asks them how they enjoy the water and they respond by asking, “What’s water?”

Then, the punishment. Allah commands those who commit dhihaar and then want to return back to their wives that they must first free a slave. If they cannot find a slave to free, they must fast two months straight. Straight! That means, there is no “I am tired today, I’ll just skip this day of fasting and make it up.” If they are not able to do this, they must feed sixty needy people before they even touch their wife. It should be noted, that these are not three options, of which a husband can pick from. He must first try to find a slave, then try to fast the two months, then if those two fail, feed sixty people.

The story of Khuwaylah is impressive in so many ways. We see the persistence of a woman who knows that this Arab custom must be eliminated and has a deep faith that Allah will reveal something regarding her particular situation (remember, she was married to an old man, and Allah gives three ways of purifying him from his error). We also see the justice and mercy that Allah has towards His creation. This is a clear directive that husbands cannot deprive wives of their rights and vice versa, and yet, if we do err, “Inna Allaha la’afuwwun ghafur” (al Mujadilah, aya 2)- Indeed Allah is Pardoning, Forgiving. Then, we think of the punishment. We obviously think of it as a punishment, but in reality, Allah says why He issues it, “thaalika litu’minu billahi wa rasulihi”- this is so you can believe in Allah and his Messenger (sas) (aya 3). When we are fasting, it gives us time to reflect and make amends, and in a two month period of fasting, it would be hard to come out of it with a lower state of imaan.

Some questions that I do have: “Since the Qur’an is relevant at all times and places, and we know that this was an Arab custom that has been eliminated (I hope), how does it pertain to us today? Are there any phrases similar to it that the scholars would say the punishment would be the same?”

My second question is, “What if a wife said something akin to that phrase to her husband? What would the ruling be then?”

If anyone happens to know, please inform us

Any thoughts about the story of Khuwaylah (ra)?

Obama’s Speech in Cairo

http://english.aljazeera.net/news/middleeast/2009/06/20096410251287187.html

The Absence of…

I received this email as a forward and was actually quite impressed since we usually are dualistic in our thought process:

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and…

Prof: So you believe in God??
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is this God good then?
Hmm?

(Student is silent)

Prof: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student: Yes
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From…God
Prof: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:Yes
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes
Prof: So who created evil?

(Student does not answer)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student: Yes, sir
Prof: So who created them?

(Student has no answer)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Tell me, son…Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us you have ever heard your God?
Student: No ,sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn’t exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such thing as cold?
Prof:Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, megaheat, white heat , a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat , but we cant go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat .We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat , sir, just the absence of it.
(There is a pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something .You can have low light, normal light, bright light , flashing light…But if you have no light constantly , you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Prof: So what is the point you’re making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: Just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your student that they evolved from monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course , I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your OWN eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar)

Student: Is there anyone in this class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so .So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol , science says that you have no brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof:I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir…The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps us moving & alive.

Disclaimer: Obviously there are flaws in the student’s argument. The fact that the Professor is talking and even functioning proves he has a brain…however, I think that if that part didn’t exist, it would have made his argument stronger. The idea that there are things even in the human body which scientists can’t figure out because it is way too perfect is another aspect we should consider when thinking of the existence of God.

The Egyptian Identity Crisis

Last year I had the great opportunity to go to Egypt for two months to study Arabic at the Diwan Center in Cairo.  My parents are originally from Alexandria, Egypt so it was not the first time that I have visited, but it was the first time not traveling with my parents and the first time I went there for study as opposed to visiting family.

The ability to go abroad is a beautiful blessing from Allah (swt), but it also comes with its own set of tribulations. One should be cautious when saying, “I just need to get away.” While we all face those times when we desire to escape, we should always remember that we really can’t ever escape the ibtila’ (trials) of Allah. They just seem to follow subhanAllah- they do not need to pay for airfare, rent or tuition. They are with us everywhere we go- whether it be in the States, Malaysia, the Middle East… anyway, this is a tangent to what I really wanted to reflect upon today, which is the Egyptian Identity Crisis.

Egypt has an identity crisis the same way Americans had one in the hippie 60s-70s. It is a land that is filled with paradoxes. In it, we can find the best Islamic schools, well known scholars, beautiful masajid, and yet we see the impact the fath (Sadat to the Western world) has had on the perception of what it means to be advanced. Walking to Masjid Bilal for maghrib, I had to pass by a sheesha place. The place was packed, (especially if there was a soccer match that day), and the athaan for maghrib was flooding the streets.

Egypt is also very well known for its fashion style. Only in Egypt can I find women wearing a yellow hijab with a yellow body (a very tight shirt which is not so hijabi) and yellow flip-flops. The style is definitely a mixture of trying to be perceived as Western while remaining “Islamic”- unfortunately it tends to fail on both fronts. Why am I making these observations? As an American Muslim, I wanted to go up to each and every hijabi and say, “Muslims in America don’t dress like this- is this the new Egyptian cool or are you trying to emulate Westerners?”

At the same time, there is a different layer to all of this and that is with personal identity. As a Muslim living in the West, I am clearly a minority, so if I wear hijab at all, I feel empowered and I proudly stand out. This is not so for Egyptian hijabis. If a sister does decide to wear hijab in Egypt, she will be like the majority of other women who reside there- so, what may make them feel different, is the sense of perceived Western style that they are incorporating into their wardrobe.

This identity crisis is problematic for several reasons. If we don’t feel a sense of pride in Islam, we will always allow other worldviews, fads, the moda, infiltrate our perception of self and then we end up being (and looking) quite confused. This confusion is clearly seen on the dirt roads of Egypt, where a donkey and a Mercedes share the same road as a vendor is yelling that he has loofahs for sale.

I say this all with a deep respect and love for what Egypt has to offer in terms of knowledge, history, and the genuine noble characters that I have met on my travels. It just saddens me to see all the talent that many “developing countries” have and it is strangled underneath the jar of bad government.

Descending Jabal Musa (Mt. Sinai)

The Two Brothers

Last night, I had the honor of MCing the fifth annual ICNA-MAS MCCT Interfaith Banquet. The theme was Gobal Crisis-Faith Solutions. Alhamdulillah, the speeches were insightful, inspiring, and those that authored those speeches delivered them with a sense of true concern for the fate of humanity. One story really struck me which was told by Rabbi Herbert Brockman.

It’s about two brothers.

There were two brothers that lived at opposite ends of the hill. One brother had a beautiful wife and many children as well as a flourishing farm. The brother on the other side was not married, had no kids, but also had a flourishing farm. The brother with a family was so concerned about his brother. He would lament at the fact that his brother had no wife nor children and worry about his state of being- his loneliness, his probable insecurity etc. This preoccupied the brother so much, that he decided to cut down half of his best wheat, tie it up and leave it on the doorstep of his brother over the hill.

On the other side of the hill, the other brother was thinking to himself, “I have such a beautiful, flourishing farm and what am I going to do with all of it? I have no real use for all of this, while my brother on the other side of the hill has many mouths to feed.” Lamenting over the idea that his brother may need help making ends meet, he decides to cut down half of his best wheat, tie it up and deliver it to his brother.

As both start making their arduous journey up the hill, they keep thinking about the situation of their brother. “Is he okay?” “How is his physical state?” “Is he worried? What is he preoccupied about?” Until they reach the top and find each other, wheat in hand, ready to help one another. At that very moment, they embraced on the top of the hill with full understanding and mercy towards each other.

That hill is the hill that Prophet Suleyman had his palace only for the Romans to destroy it later and is now where Masjid al-Aqsa and the Dome of the Rock stand. (Rabbi’s viewpoint).

Allah’s presence was there with the two brothers and continues to be there today.

May Allah protect all those who wish to worship without oppression.

Seasonings of an Unseasoned Chef

After being married two months and pretty much consistently cooking with an amazing sous chef , I have come to realize that I consistently use the same seasonings in my cooking.

Those are:

-Cumin- One day I was eating vanilla ice cream and my younger brother passed by and said, “Why don’t you add some cumin to that?”

- Limes- I love limes and I never buy lemons.

- Sazon- probably the best thing Goya makes- I like to add it to rice, but you can add it to almost anything

- Onions- Growing up, I hated the smell of onions, especially since I smelled like food going to school…and plus, if you got too close, the tears would start running…but when I started cooking for myself, I realized how essential onions really are. They are probably the base for almost every delictable dish I make

- Crushed Garlic- I needed to buy a garlic crusher because it’s really hard to get the scent of garlic off your hands when you chop them yourself

-Tomatoes- I realized that it’s a lot better to make your own sauce than to use a marinara- usually the marinara sauces have sugar in them and it tastes a little off- I did not realize this until I looked at the ingredients on the label

-Thyme- Thyme is the type of seasoning that reminds you of oregano but smells better..mmm

-salt and pepper- I like the grinder pepper

Vine Ripened Tomatoes are the Best!

Mother’s Day

Yesterday,  Ahmed (my husband) and I went to see our families (we had them over one house). As we were sitting at the dinner table, I began to reflect on the idea that some scholars profess Mother’s Day to be bida’ (innovation). Then I started thinking about days in general. Just like there are people who have been chosen throughout history, (the Prophets, the families of the Prophets, the companions to the Prophet Muhammad (sas)), there are also special days that Allah has chosen for us- all of Ramadan, Layaltul Qadr (the night of power), the two Eids, the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah etc. And so, religiously, these days are extremely significant to Muslims, but it also shows us that not all days have the same value. Allah (swt) chose the Night of Power as the night where angels will descend and have your next year’s report card ready and the value of this night is better than that of 1000 months (ie 83 yrs). Major power…

As humans, we tend to also assign value to days and moments which are significant in our lives. Whether or not you celebrate birthdays, a mother will never forget the day she gave birth to her son or daughter. A happily married couple will always reminisence about their wedding day and how special it was for them. I can pretty much guarantee that my brother will be pretty jubilant May 17th, the day he graduates from law school We should feel grateful that Allah has allowed us to witness success through Him. At the same time, we should also consider the responsibilities we hold to others.

For those that argue that Mother’s Day should not be celebrated because  a) it is not a holiday ordained by God and/ or b) because it is a recurring holiday (not like a graduation where you feel happy for a day but then forget about it next year), I would have to disagree with their position. Some may attest that they always treat their mothers extremely well, hence negating the need for a Mother’s Day… but is that a significant reason to not acknowledge a day that humans across the world thought it necessary to celebrate (i.e. Egypt’s Mother’s Day is March 21st)?

Another argument may be that this day is not in the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (sas). And yet, we know that heaven is at the foot of the mother and each person will respond to pleasing his/her mother through different vehicles, undoubtedly being affected by the culture in which we live.

This was posted on Imam Suhaib Webbs blog:

Sh. Bin Bayyah on Holidays Free of Religious Overtones

Published by Suhaib Webb May 10th, 2009 in General

“The holidays which are forbidden [for Muslims] to observe are those with religious overtones [such as Christmas and Easter*] not the festive gatherings people observe due to certain events. Therefore, people are allowed to celebrate wedding anniversaries, birthdays or any occasion as such celebrations are not related to religious holidays. It is imperative that we work to remove the confusion surrounding this misunderstanding and the doubts that have affected many people [regarding this issue]. [Because of this misunderstanding] people find hardship and difficulty in their religion. Especially when a religious minded person holds [such non religious celebrations] to be from the major sins or rejected acts when, in fact, they are not.”

This post is really a tribute to Mother’s Day. Sometimes, when mama calls me, I can’t pick up the phone. I can’t always be there when she needs help carrying the groceries. I don’t always have the strength to sit and watch the Egyptian drama shows she keeps tabs of.  But I do love my mama. A lot. I remember being very young leaving the store, carrying bread in one hand and holding mama’s hand in the other. The sun was beating down on my face and mama told me, “Marwa, you are my best helper.” At that moment I felt so proud, so honored to hold the loaf of bread as my mother carried the rest of groceries.

Sometimes, I’m not the best daughter, especially because mama knows me so well (my flaws, my grievances, my fears). But, I will make sure to let her enjoy being an awesome Mama, at the very least, on Mother’s Day

Let Mother’s Day be a reminder of how special our Moms are…and through that reminder, let us increase our efforts in pleasing them

Devil Pee

Last week’s khutba was about the detrimental effects that laziness has on us, especially when it comes to delaying or missing prayer. In the khutba there was the mention of this hadith,

Found in Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 54, Number 492:

Narrated ‘Abdullah: It was mentioned before the Prophet that there was a man who slept the night till morning (after sunrise). The Prophet said, “He is a man in whose ears (or ear) Satan had urinated.”

Growing up, my brother and I were made privy to this hadith at a very young age. It was a great way to annoy each other on the weekends and shout to the sibling fast asleep, “Shaytan is peeing in your ear!!” We came to the definite conclusion that Devil Pee was ear wax.

Now, twenty years later, I reflect on the same hadith and think that whether the hadith is literal or metaphorical does not make it any more appealing. I say metaphorical because I couldn’t help but make the analogy between animals who urinate in order to claim their territory and the Shaytan doing the same to us. This is his way of saying, “You could not get up to praise your Lord. You are now my property.”

It’s amazing how the Qur’an and the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (sas) appeal to everyone. If there are people who work better by thinking of the reward (ie, their book in their right hand), there are a great number of verses and hadith that speak to that person. For fajr in particular:Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “There are angels who take turns in visiting you by night and by day, and they all assemble at the dawn (Fajr) and the afternoon (`Asr) prayers. Those who have spent the night with you, ascend to the heaven and their Lord, Who knows better about them, asks: `In what condition did you leave My slaves?’ They reply: `We left them while they were performing Salah and we went to them while they were performing Salah.”’
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Yet, there are still others who are driven to obey through punishment (ie the book in their left hand). So, when we reflect on the verses describing the Hell-fire, we should consider how many people those verses actually saved from the Hell-fire.

The same holds true for Devil Pee.

May we use these ahadith of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to improve ourselves and the communities around us

Muslims Against Hunger

“It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards the East and the West, but righteous is the one who believes in Allah, and the Last Day, and the angels and the Book and the prophets, and gives away wealth out of love for Him to the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the wayfarer and to those who ask and to set slaves free and keeps up prayer and pays the poor-rate; and the performers of their promise when they make a promise, and the patient in distress and affliction and in the time of conflict. These are they who are truthful; and these are they who keep their duty,” Qur’an Translated, 2:177.

This past Sunday (May 3rd), my husband and I participated in the annual Walk Against Hunger campaign sponsored by Foodshare. The day was rainy, but it did not prevent thousands of people from walking the three mile route in the heart of Hartford, Ct. I even passed by my apartment and considered changing my soaking sneakers, but the unity of the movement stopped me from breaking the rhythm. Alhamdulillah, Foodshare raised over four hundred thousand dollars and Muslims were very well represented in the cause There was a point in the walk where I said, “Alhamdulillah for being a hijabi,” thinking that it is the perfect cover for the rain and a Muslim brother responded by saying, “Yes, isn’t it great to be known as a Muslim?” Haha, even though that is always a very good reason alhamdulillah to wear hijab, it’s funny to see how people interpret our statements.

Soaking Shoe

As water was hiccuping out of my sneakers, I started to reflect on the idea of a journey. We all have journeys- whether they are physical, spiritual, mental, or a mixture of all three. We are all on a journey towards death, but we barely ever sit and ponder that reality. We all have a special and unique journey that can only have our names written on it. The Prophet Muhammad (sas) journeyed through the heavens and spoke to Allah (swt). He decided to return back for our sake and relay the message. This act alone is sufficient for him (sas) to be considered a mercy for humanity. On a physical journey that we are more likely to comprehend, he and his companions (sas) traveled from Mecca to Medina. On foot and camel. When I went to ‘umra, my father and I took a bus to Mecca from Medina. It was blazing hot even with an air-conditioned van and the mountainous skyline intimidated our eyes. That trip took five hours. Through breaks of “Lubayka Allahumma lubayk,” I couldn’t stop thinking about the arduous journey the Prophet (sas) must have endured in order for us to freely practice Islam today.

Praying before the Walk

For us to gather on a rainy May day to stand up for justice and against hunger seems relatively small, but we will keep trying inshaAllah to reach the humanity of the Messenger and to be a part of his suhba and the suhba of his companions (ra) in the hereafter

Want a Keyboard that writes in Arabic?

Salaam everyone,

One of my beloved students, Sarah told me about this site. This will help those who need to write in Arabic inshaAllah

Check it out

Arabic Keyboard

Make dua for Sarah everytime you use it inshaAllah